The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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