We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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