I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
