I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
