I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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