I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
