I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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