I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
