You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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