idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
