It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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