We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hippo gnu deer
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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