You really coming over, don't trick.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
