You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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