break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
