I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
