I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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