I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
