dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
