handjob tips. give me some.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
