I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
