everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
