One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
