she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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