I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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