i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
