Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
