i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
