This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize