Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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