that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
