wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
