While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
