i just had sex bonerless
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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