i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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