His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm really busy with my period
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