well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize