He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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