Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
