just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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