I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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