Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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