You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When did angry sex become our thing?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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