I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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