There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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