Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
