He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's shark week go big or go home
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
