Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
