she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
