come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
