I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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