Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
