Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
