So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My vagina is officially offended.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
