im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
