You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
