her vagine was all disorganized.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize