God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
