her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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