he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
