just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
