i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize