Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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