it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When did angry sex become our thing?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
how does that bad decision feel?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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