He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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