How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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